Glenn Miller’s ‘The Coed and the Zombie Stoner.’

It has been a long time since I have watched something that really destroys my perception of the media of film, be that a good or a bad thing it is usually unexpected. So as I sat down after placing this weeks DVD in my Xbox, I was prepared for the worst, then the film started and, well; I feel like calling it the worst thing I have ever seen is too high praise. Asylum (Creators of those mockbusters that attempt to cash in on big budget movies) have really out done themselves, this is the single most homophobic, sexist and genuinely insulting movie I have seen since Jack and Jill.

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Apparently this film is set before gay couples could be married.

Our plot goes a little something like this. We are introduced to several members of a sorority who act on the basic instinct of fucking and eating, beyond that there is no further characterisation, no motive or reasoning behind any action. One sorority sister named Bunny/Geek Girl is different; she is more focused on work but also uses her skills to help make jelly shots for a party and make up for her “Sisters”. Geek Girl breaks up with her boyfriend and is given a time limit to find a new one or be forced from the sorority by our mean girl Bambi/Botox Lady. She does indeed find a man but (Shock horror!) he is a zombie. Cue madness involving a dead person that can walk but not talk and the fucking terrible movie that is wrapped around this loose premise.

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This would make it seem like the villain wins but in actuality the whole scene has nothing to do with the plot.

Special effects are bad so I will skip that, acting is awful so we will also skip that, script is non-existent and the premise while not warn has been used several times. There is nothing good to be said for this film, I truly hope that no one watches it and think that anyone who reads this review with the slightest hint of curiosity should stop that shit right now, curiosity kills cats don’t you know?

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Our heroes Geek Girl and Monthly Visitor.

I give this film Adam Sandler out of Grown Ups 2. Terrible, contrived shit is more compelling.

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This man should know better at his age. 

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