Michael J. Bassett’s ‘Silent Hill: Revelation’

Ugh, why? What is the reason behind films like this coming into existence, who really thinks it is a good idea to make them? So after the lacklustre box office returns of the initial Silent Hill movie (If you didn’t know, both are based on a video game series) someone wrote a treatment for a new film based on the property and instead of following the plot of one of the games, made a direct sequel. Lets get into the plot of this abomination.

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The lady on the left is Queen Exposition and the lady on the right is Heather.

Heather (Adelaide Clemens) is having vivid nightmares revolving around a place called Silent Hill and a funfair. Harry (Sean Bean) is Heathers adopted father and attempts to protect his daughter from the evils of Silent Hill by moving her around the country. Heather is starting her new school (Which appears to be an awkward process as she immediately begins clashing with other students) after her introduction Vincent (Kit Harington) enters and instantly catches her eye. When Harry is taken by some of the apparitions that inhabit Heathers nightmares, she enlists Vincent to drive her to Silent Hill and unravel the mystery of her past.

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So. Very. Bland.

So this film is loosely based on the third Silent Hill game which was the first in the series to have a female protagonist and gave you a weapon immediately (Female empowerment!). Unlike previous games the monsters were not based on the characters fears and fetishes (Which is good because you play as a 15 year old girl) but instead rehashed some of the monsters from Silent Hill 2 with a couple of new ghoulies thrown in. The game was good but failed to meet the expectation of the previous entry which is widely considered one of the greatest survival horror games of all time. I like the series of games and watched the first film with the hope of a B-movie horror with some familiar characters and a very original setting, what I got was pretty shit.

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3D! It’s like the bad CGI is coming out of the screen!

The film itself is badly acted, plotted, edited and shot. There really isn’t a good thing that can be said for it, ambition could be but only in the sense that they shoe horn in some small cameos at the end (Trevor is the truck driving protagonist from Silent Hill: The Book of Memories and the prison bus is a reference to Silent Hill: Downpour) but it would be hard to believe another film would come of this pile of putrid, boring shit. Sean Bean and Kit Harington are both brilliant actors wasted by being forced to put on some terrible American accents. The lead does her best but is fucking atrocious which could be the fault of her or the script. Carrie Anne Moss appears from nowhere dressed as a snow elf from Skyrim and Malcolm McDowell shows some side boob because well, you got to give the ladies something.

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You’d think that Malcolm McDowell would have learnt to avoid shit films after TankGirl.

I detest this movie and really have no basis to recommend it. I would post spoilers to try and deter people from buying it, but at this point its 2 years old and flopped miserably so fate has worked in my favour. I give this film Adam Sandler, it really could have him shouting every 5 minutes and possibly meet the lofty cinematic heights of Grown Ups 2 or Jack and Jill. Avoid.

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